Shitty Work Lunches

I recently began working in an office in an effort to keep my creditors at bay. In conjunction with my gainful employment, I have embraced frugality by packing a lunch (relatively) consistently for the first time since I was in middle school. Yet, sometimes I am too busy the night before to put anything together or too bleary-eyed at 7am to care about the well being of noon-time Leo. These instances have caused me to keep a small selection of shelf stable, microwaveable noodle meals in the bottom drawer of my desktop. This will be a regular feature about their consumption.

Before I begin I will set-up a few ground rules for my Shitty Work Lunches series:

1) I will follow the cooking instructions on the package.

2) I will eat the product as is (that is I will not add anything like hot sauce, vegetables, or anything attempting to improve the product)

3) I will have a $2 limit on the food to maintain my penny pinching ways.

4) I will use a 0-4 rating scale indicating the following:

      0 – Awful; inedible; might as well take a trip to Taco Bell

       1 – Barely passable; probably better than going hungry

       2 – Acceptable; exceedingly average; will fill you up without being noteworthy

       3 – Enjoyable; a good meal

       4 – Phenomenal; did I just microwave that?; I would pay good money in a restaurant to eat that again

Shitty Work Lunches #1

Maruchan’s Yakisoba: Beef Teriyaki

After a couple times eating cup of noodles (which I will return to at some point) I ventured deeper into the “Ethnic Food” aisle at the local Kroger and came across another product from Maruchan (the makers of the Instant Lunches in Styrofoam cups) called “Yakisoba”. The authenticity of this being an ethnic food product is in question based on the words on the packaging being entirely English and flavors like “Four Cheese” or “Beefy Taco”, but it fit the niche of instant-noodle-lunch products so I picked up the Beef Teriyaki flavor which was on sale for $0.86.

I got so excited about my microwaveable lunch I tore off the wrapper before I could get a picture.

Upon opening the container I found a package of dehydrated vegetables that were to be rehydrated with the dried noodles and a pouch of powdered beef teriyaki flavoring to be added after the cooking process. The instructions couldn’t be easier, after filling to the line on the container dumping the veggie pack in and microwaving for four minutes, I stirred in the copious amount of powdered beef flavoring, and, being accustomed to the Instant Lunches, waited for the temperature to fall to a level safe for human consumption.

Getting complicated.

Although I am afraid of losing all credibility for my food blog by admitting to having extensive experience eating Styrofoam cups of noodles, I am used to waiting ten or fifteen minutes for them too cool. Or, if I am in a particular hurry or especially hungry, I might slurp the hellishly hot concoction and roll it around my mouth, while chewing, hoping that the molten strands won’t rest anywhere long enough to give me second degree burns.

Bon Appetite

I was pleasantly surprised that, probably by virtue of the lower, wider packing, the Yakisoba was almost immediately comfortably edible. The noodles were noticeably wider and rounder than their Instant lunch counterparts and the dehydrated vegetables, consisting primarily of cabbage, added a satisfying depth to the broth.  It might have been the ravenous hunger I developed sitting at my desk all morning, but the first couple of bites were legitimately quite good. Not long into the dish the flatness of the powdered seasoning came to the forefront.  Though the cabbage was good, it couldn’t entirely cover the one note sweet soy flavor of the teriyaki or the metallic tinge and slight, but acrid, fake smokiness of the beef bouillon. The sweetness especially grows tiring by the end of the meal when the packing which allowed for immediate eating also allowed the noodle to get to room temperature in 15 minutes.

Final verdict: Maruchan’s Yakisoba: Beef Teriyaki is alright in a pinch, but not really worth the nutritional black hole as an emergency lunch. Also, while the packing is easy to eat out of and does not remain excessively hot, it is not portable and the food cools significantly if you can’t finish it within 15 minutes.

Maruchan’s Yakisoba: Beef Teriyaki

2 out of 4 for flavor

3 out of 4 for packaging design

 

Additional Photos

Best to turn and look the other way.

 

A tremendous amount of sodium, MSG and, probably, a handful of carcinogens.

 

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